Apparently this year some of the authorities believe that Santa Claus, in fact, had his elves deliver the Christmas presents to all the boys and girls around the world. This is because unfortunately Santa’s getting up there in his years and starting to have aches and pains. He went to see the doctor and was prescribed oxycodone and has become addicted to this dangerous narcotic. Santa has begun arguing with Mrs Santa in alcoholic rages. This combined with the dangerous oxycontin in his system caused Santa to go out on a binge.
This all started when Santa Claus decided he was hungry and had had enough f****** milk and cookies as he said it! He then left on foot and magically popped into Alfreton Derbyshire England. This is where an authority says a man looking like Santa Claus climbed through a drive-through window waiving a knife that was 10 inches long. Santa Claus needed money to feel his oxycontin habit and ended up taking all the money from the safe and disappearing into the night. Authorities later tracked him down, and Santa fled on a sleigh.
In and extremely dangerous air pursuit Santa’s sleigh was shot down by authorities, and Santa had to bail. Santa ended up in custody in Romania after his parachute left him dangling around a light pole. Authorities are not releasing any information though it is believed due to his reputation Santa Claus has been admitted to rehab. As more information is released, we will keep you updated on the condition of Santa Claus. In the meantime you can contact Purdue Pharma the makers of the dangerous drug oxycontin and tell them enough is enough! They have nearly killed Santa Claus!