The shocking truth is if you’re passing through middle Wisconsin and stop at a rest area or gas station you might want to be careful about what and where you go. If you’re too close to the Forest Edge, you might just find yourself coming face-to-face with a Hodag! I’m not talking about some crazy woman in stilettos swinging her purse at you either.
The Hodag likes to lurk around at night and consume its victims whole. Shoes, clothes, everything. There’s no sign of you left for anyone to find should you encounter a Hodag. The only way you can silence or even calm a Hodag down enough to stand a chance to live is to sing the Roger Whittaker song. You Are Beautiful.
If this doesn’t work, the next thing you must do is very quickly break out into Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce. If this doesn’t work put your head between your legs and kiss your ass good-bye because you’re about to become a Hodag snack, and that’s the shocking truth!