WTF is Wrong with Utah – Masturbation Outbreak Alert

If you live in the great state of Utah, then you already know that chronic masturbation is a problem that is plaguing people everywhere. The governor of Utah has recently put a law in effect that will enforce 30 days jail sentences in an effort to reduce these chronic masturbation outbreaks.

Even the church supports the governor in this effort.The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints urges the governor to put sanctions on the amount of kleenexes and Vaseline being sold in the state of Utah. The church claims that by stimulating the body sexual organs, it makes us savages. This is an act that the church considers carnal. They said that if a young man is purchasing large amounts of tissues and Vaseline that he is obviously fallen victim to the devil’s masturbation plan.

So if you are a parent of a teenage boy or young boy in the state of Utah, and you happen to notice your child is using excessive amounts of tissue and Vaseline then perhaps you need to talk with your child about chronic masturbation. The shocking truth is this is a real story!

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