Just in! Breaking news! The shocking truth about where Donald Trump has been secretly growing the stuff he attempts to call hair has been located. A group of explorers stumbled across a remote beach in the one of the northernmost cities located on the planet. In Tromso Norway, a hidden beachfront tucked away in this cold region guarded by one small house in the distance is responsible for growing Donald Trump’s hair for years to come.
It is said that this hair is made from all the finest elements of earth and completely natural as Donald Trump will only have natural hair. With plenty of fresh water and sunlight, this hair is top of the line when it comes to natural hair. This hair has even been designed and is grown in a region that allows for certain pigmentation to happen. This pigmentation gives the color to Donald Trump’s hair that it has.
It is said that he had a team of farmers that were arrested and thrown into one of his private prison corporations work with a light manipulation patterns in order to produce this exquisite hair. These individuals are all serving 20 years to life for the possession of a joint, so Donald Trump didn’t even have to pay them. No surprise coming from a guy who’s filed for bankruptcy 9 times, though.